How Are You?


A short question with a long answer.


Hey. It's been a while. How am I? Well, it's been a struggle but I'm finally cleared for winter commencement in January. I'm excited and I have so many plans for when I do. I'll be overloading on units once again (minimum of 5 - and I'm taking 7 for January. Right now I'm taking 20 even though the minimum is 18 units). I'll be attending another community college at the same time for my last class.


I've already outlined my goals for the next year and know that the upcoming year will be a fruitful one.



Dress via Tobi / Heels via Public Desire / Choker via Strung Out Shop


I've always been hesitant about applying myself as an influencer since I'm still in the shallow end of the pool in terms of numbers but I'm ready to take the plunge. A lot of plunges, actually.


BCBG's job opportunity didn't hold out for me due to budget cuts but I think that was meant to be. I didn't envision myself staying there long enough without sacrificing my happiness but if my job in the summer pans out, I'll be there grinding until it's time for me to move out. I won't say anymore about that until it's confirmed.



Dress via Tobi / Watch via Paul Hewitt / Shoes via Public Desire


Speaking of which, I do plan on moving back with my parents after graduation until I've saved up enough to move out with my best friend just outside of LA. To be honest, it's not realistic to move immediately after graduation especially when you have a 6 month grace period before you have to start paying loans. Scary, I know.


But until then, I do plan on working part-time to save up until that job I mentioned is ready for me in the summer. At that time, Polydeux is all I want to dedicated my time, energy and focus to.



Besides that, I haven't been active at all in my sorority. I've gotten everything I needed out of the organization and I've been ready to graduate from that chapter but HQ regulations permit me from doing so.



I've stopped dancing too to focus on Polydeux and school. After seeing how much I can grow Polydeux without these distractions, it really makes me feel as though I stunted my own growth. Don't get me wrong, I miss dancing. I get nostalgic whenever anything reminds me of it but it doesn't grow me and fulfill me the same way Polydeux does. Justin kept telling me to quit a long time ago to make my career move forward but it took me such a long time to realize how much I was falling out of love with it. I was putting in 8 hours into a practice, 3 times a week and would miss classes/exams because practices would end in the middle of the night. I can't commit to something as time-consuming anymore when I get little in return.  

Comparing what I got out of Polydeux versus dance even though I put less time into my blog at the time made the disconnect between my love for dance so much bigger.



Justin and I have been really making moves lately too. With all these features and connections, we've been really feenin' to create and grow. When you progress in your passions with someone you love as much as you do your career, that's something you can never experience with anyone else. As we're approaching our year and a half, we definitely have to treat ourselves to new experiences together. (See you soon, Kanye and maybe even New York)




I've been back and forth at home for so many family events and reconnecting to your roots after grinding day in and day out feels so good.


Dress via Tobi


Even more so, I'm moving out of the hotel I've been living in to a single in one of the dorms on campus. The roommate I had just added more stress that I had trouble sleeping and made me so unhappy that I just wanted a better living environment. After having a streak of bad roommates (I had a new roommate every semester), I just realized I was better off alone and I learned that not everyone is mature enough to live without their parents. Remove yourself from anything that makes you feel that way! I promise your life will improve so much more.


So yeah. That's me.
How've you been?




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Photography by Justin Quebral